you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
