i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
