Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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