I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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