Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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