Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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