Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
