Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
