Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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