I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
