we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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