If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
