Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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