i permit you to call me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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