you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Congratulations! We have a period
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
