it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
