if you like me you must not know who I am
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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