Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize