i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Congratulations! We have a period
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