i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
