A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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