he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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