i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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