I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
