he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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