is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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