do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
