you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I need to align my fucking chakras
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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