He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
