Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
