Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
