my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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