Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
