whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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