Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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