Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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