AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
