remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
