Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He kissed a someone with a penis
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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