You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
