I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
