It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
