I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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