This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
