Don't you send me to vm
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
