That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
