I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
