What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
