i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
And then he peed in my hair
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