i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
