That's intense
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
